(Or: How to Be the Person Everyone Secretly Hopes Shows Up)

There’s an underrated character in every holiday gathering. Not the host (though bless them). Not the person who brings the store-bought dessert and pretends it’s homemade. Not even the friend who insists on “helping” but inevitably just stands in the kitchen narrating their day.

No — the true MVP of December is the great guest. The person who arrives like a soft exhale in human form. The one who makes the room feel warmer just by showing up.

Being that person? It’s an art. A gentle flex. A civic duty, even.

Here’s the guide.

1. Arrive on Time-ish

Not early (hosts fear the early guest). Not 40 minutes late (they also fear the chaos agent). Show up in that sweet spot where the candles are lit, the playlist is humming, and the host hasn’t had a chance to spiral yet. Consider it your first act of kindness.

📸: Bianka Gill.

2. Bring Something… But Make It Thoughtful

This is not the season for panic grocery-store gifts. Bring something with your heart in it — a beautiful candle, a killer dip, a chilled can of Barbet (obviously). Bonus points if it’s something the host can enjoy later, when the lipstick’s off and the dishwasher’s full.

📸: Rawkavai.

3. Temperature Check

Every gathering needs a temperature check. You can be the person who helps the night find its rhythm:

• Laugh easily.

• Ask good questions.

• Compliment something specific (the lighting, the table, the host’s questionable-but-charming playlist). Your vibe travels. Make it generous.

4. Don’t Perform Helpfulness — Actually Help

If you’re going to ask “Can I do anything?” then be prepared for the answer to be “Yes, actually.” Carry something. Open something. Pour something. Hosts remember the people who didn’t treat the kitchen like a museum.

📸: Yu & Mei. 

5. Know When to Leave

There is an exact moment where the night peaks. Find it. Respect it. Exit gracefully. The best guests slip out before anyone starts stacking chairs or telling stories that should’ve stayed in 2014.

6. Follow Up Like a Grown-Up

Not a novel. Not a sonnet. Just a quick message the next morning: “Last night was perfect. Thank you. Still thinking about that salad/dip/chaotic moment with the dog.” It goes further than you think.

7. Bring the Energy You Wish You’d Receive

Kindness, curiosity, a soft landing for the people around you. That’s the whole art, really.

You don’t need to be the funniest, fanciest, or most extroverted person in the room. You just have to be someone who shows up with intention — someone who adds a little sparkle to the night.

And if all else fails?
Bring Barbet.
It’s basically a personality trait at this point.